Thanks A Lot

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
me your stinking chain letters over the past years. Thank you for
making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your
concern........

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains and it
eats the paint off of cars.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a
wet dog on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaida in disguise.