In a Vacuum

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" 

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

A Blonde is Overweight

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. 

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." 

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. 

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" 

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor. 

"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.

Tech Support

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. There, he deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. 

The best call came from Bubba, who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by "Lucille." 

He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him. 

"She don't never leave no number, so I can't call her back," he said. 

After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number. 

"She leaves her name," was the reply. 

After establishing that the customer had a numeric-only pager, the light bulb came on. 

"How does she spell her name?" the service rep asked. 

"L-O-W C-E-L-L" 

Another technical problem solved.