The Church Plaque

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was staring up at
the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-
old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked
up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.

"Sir, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service,"
replied the pastor.

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly,
"Which one, sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

Puzzle

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over
and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out
how to start it."

Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?"

The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he
heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to
where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.

He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not
going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the
picture of that tiger. Second, I'd advise you to rel ax, have a cup of
coffee, and put all these Kellog's Frosted

Flakes back in the box."

Brown Eye

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

The Family Dentist

A husband and wife enter a dentist's office. The Wife says, "I want a
tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible
hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

"You're a brave woman," says the dentist, "Now, show me which tooth it is."

The wife turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth and show the
dentist which tooth it is, dear."

Swallowed A Mouse

A man swallowed a mouse while sleeping on the couch one day. His wife
quickly called the doctor and said, "Doctor, please come quickly. My
husband just swallowed a mouse and he's gagging and thrashing about."

"I'll be right over," the doctor said. "In the meantime, keep waving a
piece of cheese over his mouth to try to attract the mouse up and out
of there."

When the doctor arrived, he saw the wife waving a piece of smoked
herring over her husband's mouth.

"Uhh, I told you to use cheese, not herring, to lure the mouse."

"I know, doc," she replied, "but first I've got to get the darn cat out of him!"