What it REALLY means

"I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." 

"That's women's work," REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless." 

"Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter." 

"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." 

"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?" 

"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works." 

"I'm getting more exercise lately," REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."