A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks...

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent
replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs
up.

Read Aloud

Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the
hospital. His best friend Morris came to visit him.

Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me three times
a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the
bedside."

"What does she read?" asks Morris.

"My life insurance policy."

The Church Plaque

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was staring up at
the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-
old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked
up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.

"Sir, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service,"
replied the pastor.

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly,
"Which one, sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

Puzzle

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over
and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out
how to start it."

Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?"

The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he
heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to
where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.

He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not
going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the
picture of that tiger. Second, I'd advise you to rel ax, have a cup of
coffee, and put all these Kellog's Frosted

Flakes back in the box."

Brown Eye

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?