I’ll Sue You

A golfer is ready to tee off, when a golfer in the adjacent
fairway hits him square in the face with his golf ball.
“Idiot! Your ball hit me in the eye! I’ll sue you for fi ve
million dollars!”
The other golfer replied, “I said ‘fore!’”
The fi rst golfer then said, “I’ll take it!”

Stop Checking the Time

“Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddie.
It’s distracting!”
“This isn’t a watch, sir. It’s a compass!”

He’s Not My Caddie

Rich Texans are fabled for their grand style, but when one oil
tycoon appeared at a local British golf course followed by a
servant pulling a foam-cushioned chaise lounge, his opponents
thought that this was taking style too far.
“J.R., are you going to make that poor caddie lug that couch
all over the course after you?” they asked him.
“Caddie, my eye,” explained J.R. “That’s my psychiatrist.”

Funeral Procession

Mike, an avid golfer, was teeing up for a very difficult shot.
At that moment, a funeral procession went by. Mike stopped,
stood still with his hat over his heart, and bowed his head. His
golfing partner looked at him and said, “Mike, that was kind
and decent of you to show such respect for the dead.”
Mike replied, “Yes, we would have been married twenty-six
years come tomorrow.”

 Bullish on Trousers

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants when he went
out on the golf course?
Just in case he got a hole in one.