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The Homone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands. Following is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!. 


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? 
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? 
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? 
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate. 

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? 
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown! 
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! 
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate 

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? 
SAFER: Could we be overreacting? 
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck. 
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate. 

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? 
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. 
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? 
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate. 

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day? 
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today. 
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe! 
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

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