Things your Mother would NEVER say

-- Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 

-- Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day. 

-- That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse. 

-- Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper. 

-- The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here. 

-- Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad. 

-- Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs? 

-- Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble.